Image via Cool Material
Some historian did a photo series about what soldiers in the past used to carry with them into battle. It’s awesome. You got spears, axes, guns, swords, and cool ass uniforms. Also, everyone always had a spoon, because being a total badass in history made you hungry.
You know what’s in my pocket right now? A wallet (empty), a pen (doesn’t work), and my old ass iPhone that used to belong to my mom. Who am I going to conquer with that? Not that ladies, that’s for sure.
Image via Flickr
Hey, brah. Like, how about we kick back, blast some tunes, and catch some waves? Internet waves, my man, internet waves.
That’s how I imagine web surfing competitions like the one that happened in Rockaway in New York go down. The object is to surf from one website to another using nothing but your mouse. No back button, no search bar, no right click. It’s the way our grandfather’s surfed Geocities, broskis.
Think you got what it takes? Try it: surf from Facebook to Myspace with just your mouse. Wipe out, man.
Image via YouTube
How is the internet awesome? Let’s see:
1) Be Chris Pratt
2) Be hilarious and lovable
3) Be cast in an amazing Marvel movie and go on a crazy press tour
4) Go on the radio as part of said press tour
5) Be asked if you even rap, bro?
6) Melt the face off of the microphone with an amazing Eminem verse
7) Have that video go viral
8) Have Reddit see said video
9) Have Redditor REMIX IT INTO A MUSIC VIDEO
<3 you, Chris.
Image via Kickstarter
The best thing about living in the future is the past. Case in point, the new Aegis Defender game on Kickstarter. In the game, dudes in a post-apocalyptic world use advanced technology from a forgotten past to fight in a medieval world of magic.
Wait a sec. A game that looks like its from the past but is coming in the future is about technology from the future being used to fight in the present that looks like the past? This is some Marty McFly-style problems, yo.
Fund the game here.
Image via Cool Material
Ey so Reebok now makes bacon. Yeah. I’m not sure what to say. I mean I like bacon, but I feel that bacon comes with a certain, you know, lifestyle. One that requires sweatpants as formal clothing, not shaving, chilling on your couch, and playing the Destiny Beta a lot. Now if Reebok is making bacon does that mean bacon is a health thing?? I’m not sure how I feel about that.
Reebok made it for Crossfit, which after a lot of internet sleuthing I’ve discovered is a workout routine where you do push ups until you make Captain America cry. Sorry, Cap, maybe you should have been working on your push-ups instead of polishing your shield. BURN.
Image via Taxi
There’s a kind of tongue and cheek checklist out if you’re interested in owning your own “hipster bar.”
The checklist has everything you need to get real street cred with the people that matter: those who use Yelp to find places to take Uber to. You gotta make sure that your bar has a theme (preferably one that originated before 1945), that your bartenders are dressed like jerks, and that your prices start in the mid to high twenties. Hey, just like your bar theme!
Bars are cool, but they’re so, you know, 2014. Nowadays I do all of my drinking out on country porches in a rocking chair. Also I don’t drink anymore. The new thing is just to put the glass next to you and absorb the alcohol through osmosis. We call it “amoeba-ing.”
Image via Flickr
Weird Al is a bit like Legolas, he’s been around for forever, but he never seems to get old. I remember boppin’ to his “Amish Paradise" joint way back in the day and I’m glad he’s back now with eight new music videos. So far he’s made fun of selfies, grammar, lizard people, and plumbers.
This is great. Weird Al was made for the internet. And let’s face it, the internet has been kinda stale lately. I mean a video of a gerbil eating a burrito to raise awareness for marriage equality? Pretty boring. Weird Al, get on it.
Image via Coolhunting
It ain’t easy makin’ a cool GIF. I tried. It takes pictures. LOTS of pictures. Also it requires Photoshop and a computer. And it helps having a desk. I have none of these things.
So I’m glad PHHHOTO has an easy peezy app that does all it for you. Just download it (it’s free!!), set the camera, and hit the button. PHHHOTO has built in social sharing so you can share that GIF of your dog right away for maximum like-age. The company behind PHHHOTO started off by making a GIF photobooth (shouldn’t that be “PHHHOTOBOOTH”??) so you know they’ve got their game tight.
See, ma? Who needs a desk?
Image via aplus
Here’s a list of stuff your iPhone can do that you probably didn’t even know were POSSIBLE let alone DOABLE using something that costs as much as your bus pass.
Some of it is pretty basic, like shaking your phone to undo an action, or charing your phone faster by setting it in airplane mode, but some are pretty useful, like being able to take photo bursts (hold down the shutter button), or accessing your drafts quickly (hold down the new email button).
My favorite is still being able to see all the phones overhead (just yell “planes overhead”). I recommend not doing this in a crowded park. Unless you want to have a bunch of space all to yourself. In which case I recommend yelling “I’M FEELING VERY ITCHY”. Let’s see iPhone do THAT.
Read the list here.
Image via Cool Hunting
First, stop reading this if you’re not cool, and primarily use Instagram to take pictures of yourself at the beach or at brunch. OK, are only us cool people left? Then, go ahead.
XTRAPOP is a photo app that is doing something no amount of Valencia filter can do: make Instagram and photos in general cool again. The app is part-photo app, part-art app, and let’s users paste a bunch of crazy shapes and stickers onto pics. Because art, is like, really interesting and is deep and stuff.
XTRAPOP is so cool, it might even make your beach selfie cool. Doubt it, though. Get XTRAPOP here.